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SEPTIC HUMOR: Homeless Man’s Funeral


I’m not sure about you, but I’m stinking tired of the snow.  I saw on our local news today that we are now experiencing the 2nd snowiest winter in Nebraska history!  So, in my attempt to make those around me giggle, please enjoy this short story about a musician playing for a homeless man’s funeral.  I have found it on multiple sites across the internet.  Not sure of the source, but it’s a great story!


As a guitarist, I play many gigs.  Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man.  He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country.  As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.  There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.  I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place.  I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.  I played out my heart an soul for this man with no family and friends.  I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

As I played “Amazing Grace,” the workers began to weep.  They wept, I wept, we all wept together.  When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car.  Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years!”